A few nights ago while in that dream-like state where you’re not quite sure if you’re asleep or awake, I really wanted to get my computer and start pounding out my thoughts. The sleepy mind was willing but my body was not. So as many times before, I hoped and prayed that it would come back to me during my more productive hours of the day.
One thing that stands out in my memory is that the title was going to be Even Numbers. It had to do with the significance of even numbers in our lives. The thought that came to me was that throughout our lives, the numbers that have the most impact on us and that cause us to reflect are the even numbers! How often have you heard of someone turning 23 and there was a big deal made of it? Birthday cards with hysterical comments about that age? No, I don’t think so. But turn 30, 40 or 50 and you can expect surprise parties and jokes all day long. The same goes with anniversaries.
In fact, my thoughts began with the fact that next month marks 20 years since I met my husband. In June we’ll celebrate 20 years of marriage. Lately I find myself thinking ‘in the 20 years since I’ve met Kevin, …’. The rest of the sentence doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that it’s an even number. I wasn’t having those reflections at year 17. Twenty years is a significant amount of time! It’s like a milestone, especially since many marriages don’t last more than 10 years anymore.
Whatever God was trying to say is still not real clear. I’d hoped it would come as I committed to sharing these thoughts. Sometimes when I write, things just come as I make those first strikes on the keyboard…that step of faith. Maybe this numbers game will all look kind of silly on the page. All I know is that I’m seeking more and more every day for God to show me things, to allow me to hear him more clearly than I ever have. And he’s led me to find some of the best books on the subject of Heaven and dying….and prayer.
My friend, Lisa, just lost her 20 year old daughter, Jenny – to this world as we know it. I added that because we know where she is. She’s not lost! I guess I’m not liking that phrase anymore. Jenny was a very special young lady in my life. Lisa and I are both fascinated with the subject of ‘passing through that veil’ to the other side. And I think we all very well should be! Every one of us will come to that place, some sooner than later. I’m excited about it, really. Yes, there are things I’d still like to do while here with my family – things we’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet. And I get extremely sad when I think of my present family unit changing in any way, yet I know that it will some day. But God has placed Eternity in our hearts; the void that is there inside all of us was placed there by him. That is because he wants to be with us forever. He wants us to love him like he first loved us. Much the same way we want our own children to love us like we first fell in love with them the moment they came into our arms! When we nurture our children there is a bond that is not easily broken. Likewise when we allow God to nurture us, through our relationship with Jesus, and the help of the Holy Spirit, our Comforter and Guide, there, too, is created a bond that is not easily broken.
Seems like I’m way off the track of even numbers! Well, that’s what happens when one thought leads to another. I had no idea where this was going when I opened my laptop tonight. During the seasons of my life when I commit to seek him more, seemingly crazy dreams and visions do happen. The Bible tells us that if we seek him we will find him. And lately I have shared my thoughts with a couple of friends of how we tend to look for God’s answers while keeping him in a box. God wants out of the box! Jesus always dealt with people with out of the box thinking. How often did he ever heal people the same way twice? He created us all differently and I see him dealing with each of us according to our personality and in ways that he knows that we’ll respond. I love to put my thoughts on paper, and he’s always encouraged me to write them down. As long as I’m obedient to that, it just flows…and then more thoughts come. So there I have just gone on another thoughtful tangent. Just maybe a few words here will help someone who reads this. That’s my hope and prayer. It encourages me just spending time with him, whether I’m awake…or half asleep. Goodnight, friends. Sweet dreams and visions…